Thursday, October 16, 2008

i was looking at some back 'issues' of kAy's blog when i came across this post, and was reading the associated comments....i started typing in what i wanted to add-which was a lot- and realized it was enough to deserve a post of its own! hehe..the point was how everyone makes it their business to know your business- and not because they care about you or your life, they just want to know. as my wise brother put it, it's just information they will squirrel away to bring out at some later date when you- or your parent/sibling/cousin/co-worker/spouse/in-law comes up in the conversation. and because this is lahore, this WILL happen sooner than you imagine.

if the 'when are you getting married' question is annoying, wait 'til you GET married, girls and boys! then the REAL fiesta begins! that is why people want you to get married, so they can bombard you with more and more questions! it's like a dr. seuss book gone terribly wrong! here is

gorpy's list of Frequently Asked Questions, to prepare the December Lot O' Brides, Hopefuls and Single and Fabulouses.

1. are you married?

2. you don't look married! (can be question. is also either compliment or snootering of your lack of gold joowuls/diamonds/mr. T type sonay ka karra. i always take it as the former- woo hoo for meee)

3. kab hui shaadi?

4. kahan ki hai shaadi? (err, within the human specie? in cantt? PC? i have NO idea what people want to be told in response. badshahon main?)

5. what does your husband do? (i'm sure this is a gender specific question and no men get asked this EVER. S corroborates this observation. nobody cares what i do. hmpf. you also have to include a specific company- saying 'he's an engineer' is not enough. that also includes 'does he own the business' and 'are you rich')
(this question can also mean 'where did he go to school and college')

5. a) where do you live? b) where do your parents live? (for the very thorough)

6. do you have children? (if yes, go to #7. if no, 7.a)

7. boy/girl? how many? how old? (this will lead to infinite number of questions that can range from the birth experience to whom you've bachpan-ki-shaadied it to)
7.a) why?
7. b) when do you plan to? (this is usually a distant relative or REALLY nosy auntie)

the short version is usually 1, 2 and 6, but there is never just the one question, and you can't faff them because if you told someone 'my husband is a professional clown' and they believed you, they'd judge him, poor sod.

i suppose the Part Two to this saga is the Baby Inquisition. maybe cheesoo and jammie should do a post on that ;)

Mina at 10:45 PM

16 comments

Sunday, October 12, 2008

one day whilst flipping through S's UCL alumni pamphlet i read an article on the guy who invented teletubbies, who went to UCL and read linguistics. he explained how teletubbies are aimed to be memorable to under-threes, how the fact that tinky-winky etc's lack of verbage was because that's how toddlers communicate and how the one that carries a handbag isn't gay, it's because mummy's bag is like amar ayyar ki zambeel and thus simply something lovely to have. this made sense, so i now relent somewhat in my previous horror of the teletubbies. dora the explorer, however, is quite another thing.

i was waiting for spongebob to come on so idly watched some dora, because it was on the same channel and because my stint at stellar has closely acquainted me with such childish horrors as ben 10, the new scooby doo and animated power rangers. dora is one of them so i thought cool, kids are picking up spanish from it so it must be somethin' special. turns out dora the explorer is the most mind-numbing, blitheringly boring and utterly condescending telly show for kids i have ever seen, and that is saying a lot because i really like watching stuff that's supposed to be for kids (although i don't know how kids find spongebob funny because kids these days have no sense of humor beyond farting and saying 'pishi').
this is what happens:
"how can we carry the pig? in the wheelbarrow! wheeeereeee's the wheelbarrowwww? -giant blue arrow clicks on the wheelbarrow- THERE'S the wheelbarrowwww! c'mon wheelbarrow!" YAAYYY!
then squeaky american accent with the faintest hispanic lilt dora and her animal friends do said task, then go onto another. replace wheelbarrow with river/boat/duck/dog/banana at will.

if i had a three year old watching this, i'd be most concerned with a child imagining a big blue arrow clicking on stuff when it puts two-and-two together. this is of course compounded with the fact that it would be mine to begin with, which would give it my over-active imagination and tendency to weave immense tangential narratives from the smallest occurrence. but oh god. dora and barney are in the same boat o' total awfulness, it's SO nasty. if i ever watch 'go diego go' i suspect this list may just expand.

Mina at 9:54 PM

4 comments

Monday, October 06, 2008

Jammie has given me a Brilliant Weblog award, so in my khushi- and the rules of the game- I get to:

Mina at 8:50 PM

6 comments