Saturday, May 08, 2004
babies can hear at twelve weeks. i speak to Much-Awaited-Baby sometimes. i wonder how it feels- not just carry someone in your heart; anyone can do that- but to really carry a person around in your tummy, know that behind your belly button is someone else's (eventual) belly button. and best of all- they're yours. something you can really treally call your own. that human being belongs to me. (nobody is supposed to belong to anyone but when you share half of your genetic self with someone i think you do, whether you like it or not.) 'that one's mine'. there is such wonder in a small person! such sweetness, such a fragile kind of purity...i can't stop looking at you, at your flower eyes and thoughtful fingers, can't resist lightly tapping your little tiptilted nose ("toot toot!"), smiling back at your six-teeth, crooked grin...you are so complete in your tiny self..your head isn't even as high as the kitchen counter and yet there is some kind of grace, some kind of simple wisdom in the way you go exploring, the way you think crossed eyes are funny, the way you give blades of grass, a brick, a thread on a carpet so much importance...carefully investigating, understanding for yourself and carrying onto the next discovery. it's not just that you're so damn cute in your pixie boy way. it's the way the world is still astonishing, still new, still special. how every corner hasn't been turned, every berry hasn't been chewed experimentally, every lawn run around barefoot in, every banister slid down upon, every downpour been danced in. and that's what growing up begins to rob from you, and what i try so hard to retain. wonder.Mina at 1:53 PM