Friday, March 26, 2004

Understand. Sometimes I could kill the damned word.

Understand. Comprehend. See beyond the attitude and the bravado, the fireworks and innocence, the reflection on the glass and into the room, where the lights will always be out. I know. I see. I am so much more spot-on than anyone will ever imagine and I hate it sometimes because it gives me what I feel now are excuses for behavior. Y is so meek because Y’s mother and sisters are hugely bossy. J does weird things because J wants attention. They lie because they are afraid that nobody will like or believe them if they tell the truth. X has so much attitude because X feels inadequate most of the time.
I understand, I can see through most of the dramay and I can empathise. I won’t pull the cover off because I understand (once again) why a façade is there in the first place. I don’t have to agree with a façade but its not my business to go around poking holes in one. I don't have to broadcast an opinion to hold one and us humans aren't really as complex as we'd like to believe. Coming back to the point- why am I empathizing? Why do I forgive people so soon? I’m not Mother Teresa. People maim my life just as much as anyone else’s and it hurts just as bad. And yet I am what, rationalizing their actions? Am I really?
I am not afraid of calling it like I see it; I am not afraid of facing things I don’t want to see or hear or believe. I have done it before and I can do it again. I just want to know what the hell this really is- seeing people for what they really are and accepting them like that-for what they are, good or bad or whatever- or just excusing them because its easy?

Mina at 9:27 PM

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