Wednesday, April 02, 2003

I have burnt bridges.
I have set alight floundering paper boats with a word.
My conventional niceties
Give birth to the twinge of remorse
I know its ‘all for the better good’,
Being cruel to be kind.
I feel a little sorry-
Your eyes were wide behind the tinted sunglasses.

And then you.You plead, you apologize
You appeal to past laughter to make it all right again-
Things you never usually do;
While I am just suddenly
Really sick of it all-
I never do either. I never do.

I have burnt bridges,
Set alight fetters that trail out
And pull at my skin, grasping
A hold; a hold to keep me mired in the past.

I feel churned out from the inside, I feel a dark kind of powerfulness;
A sense of being able to sort out the closet of my life
On my own, with no living tel-e-prompter guised in well-meaning love
To tell me what to do, advise me on what to say, what expression to conjure up—

The clutch has left grooves in my skin,
nail marks on my mind
but I am senseless to it-
I feel free, frighteningly free with a maniacal shade of wonderment
At the feeling.

Mina at 6:39 PM